Sex differences...

The battle of sexes is not a biological conflict! The male-female coalition is almsot impossible since defection is a masculine tendency (that's my belief LOL).

Is same-sex coalition the solution to the problem? Yeah! Rarely and briefly!

Is the world burning? Sa te krehim ku*** do kujdesemi per te...

Corporate culture, vision, mission, values, business ethics, discrepancy code, dressing codes and many more other make part of the package when starting a new job. These are things you have to be aware at least or spread around at best. Well, so far nothing new until the Bank of England's some days' ago administrative worries about dressing codes.

Liking information has it that the biggest problem that requires immediate action is the height of heels, matching - non matching colors of shoes to skirts, lipstick and the more attached to a figure of working female at this institution.

I cannot but recall an old popular Albanian phrase that fits perfectly with the situation: Has the world gone into fire? Who gives a crap! We have to take care of the bitch. Right?! Even the great Napoleon used to say (according to an old Albanian movie); "If something catastrophic or bad happens, chercher la femme!" (don't ask me about the accuracy of origins, I take it as Napoleon ha said). She is the one responsible for all the beds out there. But careful, she is the charming evil, be aware of that. Take the charm away of her and the world will be fine.

Inspired by: Bank tells staff: Don't forget the lipstick, girls

I am a fan of chocolate; the movie and the delicacy itself. Most of my memories are connected to any of them. The metaphor of the north wind in the movie has always enchanted me; the delicacy has fulfilled my lust and my sensuous appetite almost sinful on those days where slivering and getting lost is the motto.

Until...
one winter day...
a sly wind blew in from the north.
Where will we find truth?
Where do we start looking?
Where will we find truth?
We will find it...
Who the hell are you?

Yes, who the hell am I?

In those days where chocolate becomes the number one consolation item, not only for all its false attributes at which we still like to believe such as stress relieve or more as aphrodisiac, I feel like chocolate let me slick, which I particularly enjoy at that state :D.

Arriving at the mode where Status Quo is unquestionable and going deep into it would simply worsen things, I prefer to be let lust into my indulgences and enjoy the feeblest out of my so modest life where nothing new puffs out any longer.

And then...

But still the clever North Wind...
was not satisfied.
The Wind spoke to Vianne...
of towns yet to be visited.
Friends in need, yet to be discovered.
Battles yet to be fought...

By whom? Battles need solders, solders are all dead or sick, homesick or simply deserted in the battlefield of nonsense...

My winds have blown up my mind. I am dreaming a lot recently. There are breezes that have blown up summer and welcomed autumn. There are seasons overlapping each other. There are freedoms gone without being noticed. There are voices, ah those, they are the worst!

One of those days...

...it comes the moment where I think that I'm tricked by the future I picked.

Girl effect? Yes that may change the current.

I come from a country where brains were continuously and constantly washed with propaganda. Slogans like "Women are the greatest potential!", "We claim equity among men and women!", "Women are the future!" and so on were seen everywhere. They even used to sculpt those on the facades of some buildings. Ridiculous enough might sound the fact that we don't get any message straight ahead nowadays, real it is. I used to vomit when reading similar messages.

I, myself am fed up with this kind of "food" and so is most of my generation and afterward. Yet, there are cases when I can be impressed.

There are few things that I have in my heart, some are the discussions of distinguished values. There are few of those nowadays filled with original ideas and great opinions worth the time spent to read. Some days ago I happen to participate in a debate in one topic in the page of "The Economist" on FaceBook:
Culture: Result or Cause of Economic Development?. My firm opinion is on the side of the economic development as the cause of cultural developments and innovation in a country. The culture is merely what follows with the flow of changes when economic conditions improve and I can argue that. Weighting out my opinion while writing, I recalled the fact mentioned in the first paragraph. Well like it or not, some of the slogans are accurate and rightful. Women indeed are of a great potential and of beneficence to the economies and the general wealth.

I don't like slogans, nor do I like very much feminism. It's rather overclaimed or overused. I don't believe in gender equity, but I do believe the role of women is singular, irreplaceable and significant in contributing in a society's evolvement and progress. There it lies the real potential, the one every society lacks to have, where every sort of flowering, genesis and procreation thrives. It is the gender that portages the rise and satisfies every economic theory that seeks how to solve conflicts and problems brought by lack of development.

Here I'm talking about a web site, which with its design reinforces what I've learned to sceptically believe.

Citing from: here

[Matt Smithson is the director behind the new viral video calling for social change, "The Girl Effect." The spot was created for Wieden+Kennedy and is part of the $100 million-backed effort from Nike Foundation and NoVo Foundation to the cause, which is about being "the powerful social and economic change brought about when girls have the opportunity to participate in their society."...]

It is an excellent idea, message and marketing campaign. I haven't agreed this much in a long time. Here I change my belief's borders. Feels nice to be open!

"...The Girl Effect: The powerful social and economic change brought about when girls have the opportunity to participate in their society.

WHY GIRLS?..."

Statistics will tell. Give some to the girls, you will get a lot on return! Here to women! Aren't they beautiful? Cheers!

Video
WebSite

Happines? Finally defined!

There is no joke. Finally one can tell when and how happiness can be achieved.

2300 years ago Epicurus, e Greek Philosopher, spent his life in trying to define happiness. He firmly defended the hypothesis that what causes pain is bad and hence to be avoided in maximum and, what brings pleasure is good i.e. happiness. Accordingly, in order to achieve happiness, one has simply to gain pleasure from what he is doing. The potential rests in motion or static, citing the same source. The static pleasure which is identified in fulfilled desires, is the one that counts and more gratifying. He also claimed that the most unfavorable adversary to the status is the scare from the future.

Well, eventually that fear has to go once INSEE (L'Institut national de la statistique et des études économiques en France - The French Statistics Institute of a high reputation) has come to the conclusion that the amplitude of contentment increases while age advances. In average, the statistics report that French people, at their seniority, are happier. You have to be around 65-70 to be happy. (Source in today's Yahoo)

So, why fear the future? Why fear the age?

Age is the conquest of happiness!

Voila, c'est ca!

French coffee apo jo?!

Sot zbulova nje kafene te re hapur ne qytet. Kjo ne vetvete eshte nje gje teper e rralle pasi ketu asgju nuk hapet e re, sidomos e kesaj kategorie e ne keto kohe qe po kalojme....

Nejse, me doli krejt rastesisht perpara pasi me kishin refuzu me me sherbu ne i klub tjeter i cili kishte prioritet t'hongmen. Desha me iu pervesh i her atij kamarierit kur me tha me fjale te edukume po shume pa Udukate qe s'mund te me sherbente. Desha t'i them qe s'me dha asnje arsye kur me refuzoi dhe ta gozhdoja, po e kisha kuptu dhe preferova te mos err dieten e diellte me i gje te rendomte si ajo. S'e mos e kish fajin kamarieri frustruar...nesje, t'i kthehemi historise.


Kafeneja ishte shume e lezetshme, kishte nje stil te thjeshte por te dashur. Si vecnati dallova mobilimin. Nje kafene me shume lloje vendesh per t'u ulur te konceptuara ne menyra te ndryshme. Banaku ishte i vogel dhe i kendshme. Mbi banak, pikerisht aty ku rrinte banakieri ishte shkruar "Order here" ose "Commander ici"...ne te dyja gjuhet (une qe ketu u lajkatova LOL). Pashe qe njerezit kishin perpara gota kafeje nga ato prej letre. Kur pashe shenjat si dhe nje shenje tjeter qe thoshte "I lutemi klienteles t'i hedhe gotat prej letre ne plehra", e kuptova qe ishte si bicim vetesherbimi. Nuk e di perse e kishin bere keshtu jo vetem per klientet qe marrin kafen dhe e pine diku tjeter po ashtu edhe per ata qe ulen...mbase s'ka uje Grenoble me dy lumej si Isere e Drac qe kane uje me shume se Danubi LOL. Po nuk e di...me tutje vura re qe kish tabela qe shenon qe nese u pelqente ideja, te vizitonin faqen e internetit www.frenchcoffeeshop.com. Ne faqen web eshte e mireshenuar qe eshte nje kafene me vetesherbim...si dhe nje kafene qe i perket nje zinxhiri kafenesh te ngjashme kudo ne France.

Hmmm, i afrohem banakut dhe shoh listen qe ishte teper e gjate. Te mendosh qe me kafe behen kaq shume gjera...nejse, preferova te provoj nje cafe Costa Rica qe s'me kish rene ende rasti ta beja. Kur isha ulur dhe shijoja kafen time vijne dy zonja te moshuara (nderkohe hynin e dilin shume kliente cuditerisht edhe pse lokali kish vetem 1 muaj qe ishte hapur). Zonja qe ishte elegante, mori vetem nje espresso. Tjetra, pakez me e beshme, mori nje kapucino i cili ishte i mbuluar (me sa duket per t'u mbajt ngrohte) me nje kapuc te majme me shkume te zbukuruar me pluhur cokollate. E para i hodhi nje sheqer e nisi ta pinte tere endje. E dyta, e cila mezi merrte fryme nga pesha, nxjerr nga xhepi nje kuti nga ato qe mbajne sheqer dietik dhe i hedh nje dy kokrra kapucinos abondante dhe te zbukuruar aq hijshem me krem te trashe qumeshti e cokollate pluhur :-).

Kafeja ime e serviru me nje mini-tabaka ne nje gote letre e sjelle nga Costa Rica, ishte shume shijshme. Cuditerisht ne kafene kishte shume me teper te huaj sesa franceze...nuk e di perse!

The Drama Triangle...

..nga Karpman? Ka degjuar njeri?

Eshte ky ne figure. Pak apo shume shpjegon nje rreth vicioz dhe rolet s'kane nje vije te rregullt. Mund te ndryshosh shpesh. Kur njeri nga rolet ne trekendesh ndryshon, ndryshojne edhe dy te tjeret, detyrimisht.

Pershkrimi i roleve:

• Shpetimtari (Rescuer): ofron veten per ndihme edhe kur s'i kerkohet. Motoja e tij eshte "Lerme te te ofroj ndihmen time". Me kete rol, personi jo vetem qe ofron ndihme kur nuk i kerkohet ose dhe kur s'do, por ka mundesi dhe te ndihet fajtor kur nuk e ofron. Me rolin e tij ben dipendent viktimen.

• Viktima (Victim): eshte qenia mjerane e treshes. I pafuqishme te ndermarre veprime, i dobet, kerkon ndihme te deshperuar, i alarmuar e keshtu me radhe. Pret shpetimtarin t'i jape nje dore.

• Persekuotori (Persecuter): Eshte i nmotivuar nga meria/inati, akuzues, cinik, fyes, kerkon t'ja hedhe tjetrit fajin. Shfrytezon cdo "carje" per t'i dhene vetes te drejte.

Nje individ mund te levize brenda rrethit disa here. Psh, nga shpetimtar, ne viktime dhe me pas persekutor.

Zgjidhja: mosviktimizimi?

Diku lexova qe dikush e kish quajtur "The shame machine" ose ne shqip "Trekendeshi i turperimit".

Shpetimtarin ia perngjasojne versionit "nene/femer", cuditerisht...packa se nje version i "deformuar" i principit te memesise...

Te jetosh ne trekendeshin dramatik eshte e dhimbshme. Te tre rolet jane vuajtes, packa se njeri pozicion mund te jete "pakez" me "superior" se tjetri. Kjo lloj jete jep nje ndjesi mizerie dhe meshiruse. Rruga per ne trekendesh kalon nga mohimi i ndjenjave. Cfaredolloj ndjenje jo e mirepritur, refuzuar, fshehur e ku di une cfare, i hap rrugen rrethit vicioz te trekendeshit.

Sipas mendimit tim ketu flitet me shume per ndjenjat e "ndaluara" sesa per te mohuarat dhe mendoj qe keto jane dy plane krejt te ndryshme.

Per sa me siper, mund te shtoj qe kjo si teme eshte prekur nga Karpman ne nje tentative per te kontribuar ne psikologjine/analizen tranzitore. Duhet pare si nje mosfunksionim dhe duhet kuptuar qe eshte tranzitor (perkohshem). Duke qene nje funksionim i keq, duhet evituar heret a vone. Shkak kryesor i mosfunksionimit eshte mungesa e ekuilibrit dhe pabarazia ne mardhenie ose nder-mardhenie. Mardheniet e balancuara mire, s'kane vend per trekendeshin dramatik.

Rregulli i pare i referohet marrjes mbi vete te pergjegjesive.

Si thosh Victor Schoelcher : "Yesterday’s victims are tomorrow’s persecutors."... hmmm. Interesante! Kjo meriton nje teme me vehte ne fakt.

Per ta kthyer kete "loje" dhe rreth vicioz ne favor, duhet bashkepunim dhe perfshirje nga te gjitha palet. Duhet evituar viktimizimi!

Po pra, e thjeshte, po si?!

Titanoreine - I'll never forget you!

Having hemorrhoids reminds me of pregnancy. Painful! Sore! Dolorous! Not all gone, but hell men, I don't have to worry about my hemorrhoids. You do! It's better without, isn't it?

This ad made me think this nice tight a$$ is so because of Titanoreine! Titanoreine tightens ass!

Do you get another message? LOL Tell me...I'm all ears!

Yeah I know, ads in my city are very bizarre. LOL

"Interdit aux femmes" - "Forbidden to women"

I'm having a cup of coffee with one of my friends downtown today when I notice a smart B-class Mercedes in Grey that has a slogan in black over saying "Interdit aux femmes". There are also some sign of mail organisms (as Wikipedia has defined it) as the symbol of Mars suggests. I couldn't but wonder and felt "discriminated" just like the last women on earth that was not allowed to vote. I waited for the car to pass by to see some more on the body. Nothing! Just a website...

While coming at home, I was trying to figure out what could be so "forbidden" to women? It's year 2008. Voting? I'm not missing that. I think I've come to a day to choose whether to vote or not. Religion? Being a pastor has been far from a woman's desire. Is it a club? Who cares about it! What is it then? An organ? Well, if women want balls, they have every right and possibility to have them nowadays literally and metaphorically. What is it that man forbid women from having? Hah just follow the web address and you will find out by yourself. As for me, I really appreciated the marketing message. It's original and kept me in suspense the whole day. If it weren't for the internet connection at home, I would be sleepless tonight! LOL

Web site: L'espace au masculin

Boy you are going to cost 3000 diapers only the first year!

As a responsible mother (like to define myself so) I've subscribed to several newsletters from different sites that keep me informed about my life as a mother and my baby's developments. I received this one recently that astonished me:

"It's e fact: In your baby's first year, he'll soak and soil his way through nearly 3,000 diapers!"

Exclamation point added by me at the end of the sentence. Now I made a little calculation. Here I go: Depending on the sales offer I'm getting for the diapers (in France there are plenty of reduction you may profit from) each piece cost me about 20 Euro cent (cannot find the sign to add here) and if I take into account what others have proved to be the quantity a baby smirches per year (I like those kind of funny statistics), he will cost me only Euro 600 on diapers. Here I'm not counting the lotion I need to clean him, the cotton I'm using to do that, the dirty clothes he unconsciously splashes along that I have to wash or the pollution to the planet (this was deliberate :D I swear).

This is only about the shitting part of a baby. Actually that is one of the 4 activities he is doing right now, and it counts ... a lot!

Boy you cost mama a fortune! For what I know, till 3 you will splash and smirch on mama's money until you get 3 years old. Mama is very proud, you know!

Unsaid

I think people tend to be rather sensitive to what is not said than the one it is. What is perceived to be defined as "the unsaid" is demonstrated through a message conveyed by a hesitation, a reluctance to discuss a matter, or an obvious desire to change the subject.

This results is a total deficiency of comfort by the side of the part interested in the content. And that is just the beginning! What follows is even worst. "What, Why, Which, Who..." questions start crossing one's mind and confusion start springing in. Is it so hard for anyone to tell the truth? Why? Does the truth hurt? Is it that we avoid it because we lack argumentation or is it simply because it's not worth arguing it at all?

I wonder!

50 cm de plaisir!

What can I say? No comments in general but one in particular: I don't know anybody that can have "fun" or, for that matter, gain any pleasure by 50 cm, but I might be wrong.

Do you know anyone?

What truly defines love?

I am watching the same movie for the several time: A beautiful Mind, the story about John Nash without whom we wouldn't have any development in Game Theory, hence no interpretation of some very important economic behavior in personal and group bases.

I go through the dialogue for the immense time and try to understand the reasoning of this great mind. Here...

• Nash: I find you very attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we go through a number of platonic activities before we
  [brief pause]... have sex. I'm simply proceeding with those activities. But in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible. You're gonna slap me now.


• Nash: I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex.

Hiis sarcasm suggests me nothing but action. At this point of developments there is a simple reasoning which simply "saves lots of times" but gives "lots of trouble". The simple reasoning t is not appreciated at all and concluded with a slap in the face.



While he is searching along his days the "original piece of work"so much demanded and expected that would justify his label (he was recommended by his professor for the university with a simple sentence "He is a genius!", he comes with a shocking statement. The answer to the questions: What truly is logic? Who defines reason? he responds in a rather menish way.So, at another part of the dialogue the conclusion is drawn and the curtains are again up for me:

• Nash: I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am... you are all my reasons.

Questions I raised to myself: Is it truly love that defines the reason, or is it the only feeling that we find reasonable to believe in and thus give it the remarks, valor and merits? Yet, we are almost sure that it is love the one that breaks all equations and creates one of his own taking the recent out of the borders of logic and leaving it with a simple statement, completely naked at the eyes of the world: "Love is blind!" or further as Pascal stated: "Love has its own reasons which reason itself does not recognize."

Do we value love because it is the only sustainable "thing" at which we count on? Can we do without? In the picture I've found to illustrate my thoughts, Goya makes it difficult for the eyes of the admirer to believe reason is the path to salvation. It looks to me like it's screaming: "Reason is demon!"

I couldn't take Nash for granted so I went through Alica's thoughts. At the end she is a woman and often we hear people saying women cannot do without love. Can they?

• Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.
  
• Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.

She is surely standing up to her girlish romance definitions as we see her right beside to Nash while he is prized, but was it reason or love that kept her there?

Now that is a question that needs an answer which I'm still looking for. Are the girlish voices of romance the voices of reason that we should listen at or are they the old demons of old times when the world used to shine and rise only?

What truly defines reason?